Who ever told you relationships are easy, fed you unrealistic expectations of relationships. A relationship is a bond where two imperfect people come together attempting to perfect one another. In order to do this, the couple must be willing to make certain sacrifices to keep the relationship happy, healthy, and prosperous. These sacrifices include dedicating yourself to one individual for a period of time, giving up privacy, and etc.
Unfortunately, there are individuals who view commitment as an obstacle in the path of their pursuit of romantic relationships. This view presents the fear of love or the fear of relationships, and exemplifies a “commitment-phobe”.
Used interchangeably, commitment issues, relationship anxiety, or commitment phobia, is a problem that is not new.
As mentioned in the definition of commitment, it is safe to infer that being committed in a relationship is to be dedicated to that relationship and partner.
Why are you afraid of commitment?
Relationships are mainly taboo in today’s society. The world is filled with “one-night stands”, relationships with”no feelings involved”, and fatuous sex that has increased the fear of commitment. With these quick fixes and unpredictable life changes, you may fear commitment due to:
Heartbreaks by the bad cases of your cheating exes that left you paranoid of future promises of commitment in a romantic relationship.
Losing independence that you have maintained as you enter adulthood or while in adulthood.
Giving yourself fully to someone else considering that your life has revolved around you not letting anyone that may hurt you, in.
Rejection that comes with pursuing a relationship.
The possibility of the relationship failing when willing to commit to a relationship that is not guaranteed.
Enjoying promiscuity instead of establishing deeper connections
And you may not want the change in your life. since you already have a path that you set the direction for in your life.
How do you overcome fear of love?
You want a relationship, maybe even crave a romantic relationship, but you are unsure because of your fear. You want to overcome this so you can finally get that happy ending you may be looking for. In order to do this, you must:
Recognize that you fear commitment. Sleeping on the fear or procrastinating only increases the thought in your mind of why you should not be committed to the next.
Enjoy single-hood before jumping into pursuing the release from your fear. Get everything from the sex, the drugs, the”living your life to the fullest“, and the partying out before entering the dating world.
Understand what commitment means because it does not mean forever for everyone. Live in the now and let the relationship flow instead of trying to control your future.
Take your time while dating the individual you are pursuing. Really get to know the person as the person gets to know you before it gets serious enough to become a committed relationship that is destined to fail. This will help you determine if the person is the right match for you.
Commit and stay consistent. You have made it and you are ready to give in and get into that committed relationship, now you must stay committed. Drop the on and off again relationships, you should have left that back in your single-hood. Here you need to remember that you can either get broken or break the individual you are committed to. That is it! That is all you have to lose.
Commitments are long and hard. Fear is deeply-rooted in your subconscious and overcoming your fear of love may not be the easiest. Through perseverance and following how to overcome your fear of love, with adjustments directed towards your life, you WILL get through it and find your happy ending.